Single? How to Avoid the V-Day Blues

Holidays like Valentine’s Day are special. The thought of receiving chocolates, flowers, and cards is thrilling. Oftentimes, we seek validation from those around us, and such gestures have the overarching ability to make us feel loved and cared for. Yet when our expectations are excessive, we will likely end up disappointed. While holidays like Valentine’s Day are about love and affection, they can also be lonely. Spending the day without a date seems to be the biggest concern on this day, yet in reality, there are many other ways to feel lonely with or without a romantic partner. Being overwhelmed by the chaos of boarding school, missing those at a distance to you, or grieving a loved one who has passed are just some of the examples of how relationships aren’t the only cause of isolation on this day. So how do we avoid the negativity and spend our day focused on the positives? The purpose of Valentine’s Day is to celebrate love and affection — it doesn’t specify what kinds. To effectively participate, we should celebrate the loving relationships we do have, rather than dwell on the ones we don’t.

The relationship we have with ourselves is most pivotal when it comes to achieving a state of contentment, independence, and gratitude. Taking care of yourself is the most effective way to transition from the negative headspace you might be in, to the positive state of mind you wish to be in. Spend the day focused on yourself, on your happiness. Indulge in all of the things that satisfy your needs and wants. Read a popular book, watch a new movie, or listen to your favorite music. Take part in what calms you so that you can learn how to love yourself.

Coloring, meditating, and journaling are three effective ways I personally focus on when I am in need of a mental reset. To color: print an outline, grab some colorful pens, and put on some music. I personally find this practice to be extremely therapeutic and relaxing. Meditating is a great way to calm yourself down when your thoughts are moving faster than it feels your brain can manage. You can open up YouTube, Spotify, or the Podcast app on your phone and listen to hundreds of different meditations guided by tons of highly qualified, licensed professionals. Lastly, to journal, simply grab a pen and paper and write all of the things that are causing negative thoughts. It is a useful way to get out the thoughts and feelings that are too hard to say out loud. All of these practices are quick and easy, and yet they have proven to be extremely beneficial.

After resetting your mind, focusing on yourself, and making sure that you are okay, it is crucial to focus on the other relationships in your life. This includes the relationships you have with your family, close friends, acquaintances, classmates, teammates, teachers, advisors, and coaches, as well as partners. Call a friend from home and see how they are doing, or call a family member and tell them you miss them. Take a walk around campus with your advisor. Visit the studio or go to the Lower Fields with your friends. Invite someone you are not very close with to come to dinner with you. The key to feeling okay on this day is to spend it filled with gratitude. Focus and appreciate the relationships you do have, rather than dwell on the ones you don’t. And remember, you are never alone.